Sizzle: When The Media Sizzles, You’ll Find It Here!

Less than 30 minutes until the 51st annual Grammy Awards.

Full list of nominations here!

Chris Brown is under investigation for  domestic felony battery.  He and Rihanna have canceled their performances!

Four minutes!

U2 opening the show.

Background screen and images are really weird.  Bono does NOT look good over it.  At least not on TV.

Wow, he looks so different without his glasses!  KEEP THEM ON!  KEEP THEM ON!

Whitney Houston is officially coming back.  Just look at her!  (Okay, maybe the hair could be better!)

Whitney going off-script?  Called Clive Davis her “father.” Maybe she isn’t coming back.

Best R & B Album: Jennifer Hudson

Is it a pity win?  Or a deserving one?

Bittersweet, regardless.  Standing ovation deserved.

Looks like she’s wearing a napkin.

Quote: I’d like to thank my family in heaven.–Jennifer Hudson

Does The Rock really live for the Grammys?  Really?

Great Recording Artist Making Music YES!, according to The Rock.  Guess it works.

Quote: I kissed a girl and I liked it!–The Rock

Look at Katy Perry’s face!  Mortification!

Group hosting is always an interesting choice.

Al Green performing with Boys II Men and Keith Urban.  Justin dancing awkwardly.  Guess he’s allowed.

Oh, JT is singing!  That we like!

So far: two performances and one award.

First commercial break more than 15 minutes in.  Not bad.

Love CBS plugging its own shows.  Case in point: The Mentalist’s Simon Baker introducing Coldplay.

So far: three performances and one award.

Very cool piano and mic, Chris Martin.

WOAH!  Jay-Z!  Really like him on slow songs.

Second Keith Urban performance of the night.

So far: FOUR performances and ONE award!

Carrie Underwood’s vocals could be louder.

What’s with everyone customizing their mic these days?

Let the debate on the most successful Idol (non)winner resume once again.

LeAnn Rhimes looks a little washed out.  At least in comparison for Sheryl Crow.

Best Country Performance (Duo or Group): Stay, Sugarland

So far: four performances and two awards.

This Bertollis commercial aired 712387231 times during the SAG awards.  Do not want to see it ever again!

Duffy looking good.

Oh my.  Look at all the old folks!

Song of the Year: Viva La Vida, Coldplay

Is Gwyneth watching from home?

Quote: Sorry for recycling the Sgt. Pepper outfits.–Coldplay dude

Kid Rock not performing that catchy all summer long song?  Disappointing!

So far: five performances and three awards.

Interesting backdrop of foreign flags.

Ah, here’s the summer song!

And now it’s gone.  What a tease!

John Mayer shaved.  Classy.

Chris Brown Doublemint commercial…awkward.

Miley and Taylor duet time!!!!!!!

Acoustic performance.  Good choice?

Quote: When you’re 15 and somebody tells you they love you, you’re believe it–Miley and Taylor (Got it, Nick and Joe Jonas?!)

Really beautiful performance.

Called Taylor her best friend?  What a lie!

Best Pop Collaboration (with vocals): Robert Plant and Alison Kraus.  (Um, who?)

So far: seven performances and four awards.

Not feeling the large earrings, J.Hud.

Another standing O for Hudson as she holds back tears.

All the guys loving Heidi Klum dancing in her skivvies right now.  (Guitar Hero commercial)

Jonas Brothers performance now.  Screams will make us go deaf.  Is that really the desired effect of the Grammys?

What do the Jo. Bros know about Stevie Wonder?

Glad they’re not performing Love Bug.  Cute but too slow.

Joe lookin’ good as always.

Wow.  Never thought we’d see the day where a respected, legendary artist is singing a Jonas Brothers song!

Jo. Bros butchering Superstitious?

So far: eight performances and five awards.

BLINK-182 BACK TOGETHER!

Oh, great joke, Mark Hoppus!

Quote: Blink-182 is back!–Mark

Quote: We decided to play music together again.–Travis (in arm cast!)

Tom DeLonge didn’t say anything, did he?  Hmmm…

Best Rock Album: Viva La Vida, Coldplay (makes them 2 for 2)

Grammys plugs Twitter.

Quote: I’m up for best soul perfromance in a sex tape.  Me versus Screech–Craig Ferguson

Was that Kate Beckinsale covering her daughter’s ears?

Very cute stage for Katy Perry’s performance.

So far: nine performances and five awards.

Her voice doesn’t sound…right. WTF?

Song about kissing a girl with a very phallic banana as the stage’s centerpiece.  Hmmmm.

If she really wanted to make headlines, she would’ve kissed a girl a la Britney and Madonna.

Kanye West has won 10 Grammys?  What is he always bitching about then?!

So far: ten performances and five awards (that’s a 2:1 ratio, folks!)

Back-to-back performances: yay or nay?

Does Kanye really think he looks good with his hair like that?  On second thought, he probably thinks he always looks good.

Smart having performers then give away awards.

Quote: This award has gone to (X, Y and Z) but for some reason not to either one of us.–Kanye (Get over it, bitterface!)

Best New Artist: Adele

Love when full-figured women get recognized!

Wow, she went on stage while chewing gum.  What an amateur!

So far: ten performances and six awards

Does Craig Ferguson know there really is a Bonus Jonas?

Morgan Freeman?  Is this the Oscars or something?

Is his hand still injured???

So far: eleven performances and six awards

Morgan’s friends with Kenny Chesney?  Who knew?!

Very somber Chesney performance.

Always throws me for a loop when they someone’s been a Grammy winner tonight already.  Hate that they do awards off-screen.

Diddy very dressed down!  Prefer him looking swank.

Record of the Year: Please Read This Letter, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss (2 for 2)

What does it say about us that we know nothing about Plant and Krauss?

So far: eleven performances and seven awards

Another CBS plug: Diddy on tomorrow’s CSI: Miami.

What’s with all the old-school clips?  This time: Dean Martin

Is this the first time someone is performing at the Grammys while pregnant like this? (On her due date, no less!)

Wow, what a crazy outfit!

Will this experience induce labor?

So is the black and white only an at-home benefit?

Time for “style, sex appeal and swagger”: Kanye, Lil Wayne, T.I., Jay-Z

Second Kanye performance.  Lucky us.

So far: twelve performances and eight awards

Beautiful dress, Kate Becksinsale!  Just like you!

Paul McCartney and Dave Grohl.  What is with these random pairings?  Do they think people like this?

So far: thirteen performances and eight awards

Grohl needs a haircut, even for him.

Nice to see him behind the drums, though, like his Nirvana days.

Charlie Hayden is Jack Black’s father-in-law?  Randommmm.

Kid Rock, drink-in-hand of course.

Best Male Vocal Performance: Say, John Mayer

What, no shout-out to Jennifer Aniston??

Another collab. performance: Sugarland and Adele

So far: fourteen performances and nine awards

Or no collaboration? Just back-to-back?

Adele has a great voice but she’s a very lackluster performer.

Okay, so it is in fact a duet-like thingie.

Gwyneth is there!!!!!  Looking hot, too!

Why didn’t she introduce Coldplay?

Are we the only ones that don’t think Radiohead is “brilliant”?

Hello, USC marching band!

So far: fifteen performances and nine awards

Samuel L. Jackson is talking about man love.  Oh dear.

Second JT performance.  Tied with Kanye.  same for T.I.

So far: sixteen performances and nine awards

How does T.I. keep that hat on his head? Double-sided tape?

The drummers are pretty cool.

Obama has won two Grammys?  Wow!

Always boring when the head honchos talk.

Think seeing Smokey on TV is cool?  Try interviewing him!  (We did last spring!)

Jamie Foxx, Ne-Yo and…the Four Tops.  Maybe our parents should be watching?

So far: seventeen performances and ten awards

Found the Grammys’ Twitter account!

Found John Mayer’s account with his Grammy tweets!

Neil Diamond.  Where’s Barbra Streisand?  Did no one bring us flowers?

So far: eighteen performances and ten awards

Sweet Caroline never gets old!

Is Beyonce not here?  Camera showed Jay-Z without his lady at his side.

Encore, aka, in memorium tribute: moving, as always.

So far: nineteen performances and ten awards

Another CBS plug: CSI: New York’s Gary Sinese

New Orleans tribute. Overdone by now?

So far: twenty performances and ten awards (back to the 2:1 ratio)

Weird collabs. just got weirder with Robin Thicke and Lil’ Wayne

Will.I.Am. congratulates Obama.  A bit out of place, no?

Wow, was that Solange (Beyonce’s lil’ sis) with Jay-Z?!

Best Rap Album: Tha Carter III, Lil’ Wayne

So far: twenty performances and eleven awards

Gone over by approximately 15 minutes so far.

More than one lifetime achievement award recipients kind of takes away from the honor, no?

Holy smokes!  Another performance?!

Guess we’ll see what all the Robert Plant and Allison Krauss hullabaloo is about!

So far: twenty-one performances and eleven awards

Green Day!  Billie-Joe Armstrong with blonde hair!

Producer of the Year: Rick Rubin

Album of the Year: Raising Sand, Robert Plant and Allison Krauss (3 for 3!)

Wow.  Don’t get it.  AT ALL!

Stevie Wonder closing the show.

And we’re done.  Nearly 30 minutes over.

In the end: 22 performances and 12 awards shown

Wish there were fewer performances.  They used to spice up the mix of awards.  Now the awards were the spice.

Full winners, including those not shown on the show, here!