You want a movie? Fuggedaboutit!
The Simpsons: Will get the honor of a crossword puzzle in The New York Times that’s all about them. You didn’t know 4 across? D’oh!
The Sopranos: Still waiting for a movie? Don’t hold your breath. Be happy with a 33-disc DVD set instead. Yay consolation prizes!
Jason Priestley: We totally agree with you here that it wouldn’t make sense if Brandon was Kelly’s babydaddy. But how can you say here that you guys “were never bestowed any awards”? Perhaps you’ve forgotten your two Golden Globe nominations! That’s right, Jason. True 90210 fans remember everything!
Dallas: Yes, people do actually still care about this show. How much? Enough to pay $1,000 to meet the stars and then bitch after about what a disaster it was. Bizarre? Yes. But it still doesn’t top the “this was all a dream” finale.
ABC News: In an interesting journalistic choice, ABC News is taking an up-close look at its parent company’s (ABC, d’oh!) decision to “de-gay” Grey’s Anatomy.
Isaiah Washington: Should someone fired from Grey’s Anatomy for a gay scandal of his own really be talking smack about the recent “de-gay”-ing? Isaiah, do you ever learn?
Gossip Girl: That season 3 ratings boost? Gone. The show is steadily slipping. And One Tree Hill is still doing better! Score!
TRL: The series finale is starting to sound more like a reunion and we couldn’t be more excited. Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Nelly and lots of others will make appearances. The show doesn’t air til Sunday, but we’re getting our TiVo ready now!
Nirvana: It’s been 17 years since Nevermind was released. More memorable than the music itself? The cover art of a naked baby in a pool. Well, that boy is–you guessed it!–17 years old now and has re-created the photo.
Elizabeth Banks: Seems like she’s everywhere lately! First W, then Zack and Miri and now Role Models. Banks will try something new next: producing a sci-fi. We’re just as perplexed as you are.
Classic Movies: Chosen by TCM to be put in a DVD set according to genre. And by classic, they also mean old. Hardly any are from the past 20 years.
Twilight: Try Twilight Zone instead! A San Francisco event for the movie was canceled after thousands more fans than expected showed up. The result? Bloody chaos! Good thing we’ve managed to remain completely uninterested in all the hoopla!
Bush: Did he like his depiction in W.? Yes, surprisingly, says portrayer James Brolin.
SIZZLED OUT: Bones
STILL SIZZLING: AOL Television has started its 50 Sexiest Men and Women countdown. These two stars, best known for kicking some serious ass, got the backhanded compliment of being number 5-0 on their respective lists.